Breast Milk-The Perfect Food For Government Shutdowns

Before breastfeeding became so popular, we never had government shut downs. We managed to get through the 50's, and 60's without a single shutdown of government services-now look what your breastfeeding has done!!!!!

So when you can't go to the national zoo, or get a weather service report, think about that thing sucking on your boob 24/7. For the good of the nation, go buy a tin of formula. Obamacare will cover it.

Breastfeeding Causes Baldness in Babies

According to highly trained hair scientists that studied this shit for their degrees, breastfeeding causes baldness in babies. Go look at a bald, breastfeeding baby-then go look at a normal baby. Read the scientific literature, peoples!!!!!!!!

Breastfeeding Causes Childhood Obesity Epidemic

If you want your baby to be a baby, not a piglet, stop hoisting it up to your teat and feeding it all those calories in breastmilk. I mean, a pint of breastmilk is full of fat and sugars, and calories. You could give the fatso a diet soda, which would fill him up, thus saving hundreds of calories a day. Diet soda only has one calorie. Do the maths. DUH!!!!!!!!!!

Breast is best if you want an obese baby you're ashamed to show anyone so you keep it tethered to your boob with a blanket over his head.