Breastfeeding Causes Poverty

Glass ceiling or glass bottle-your choice.

You never see CEO's sitting in a bathroom stall pumping in a power suit. Hand a bottle of formula to the nanny for your baby, and get the fuck back to work.

Breastfeeding Causes Speech Delays

Know why your stupid baby hasn't learned to speak yet? Because you have your tit shoved in his mouth all the time! Hey, genius, I have an "early intervention" tip for you: take your boob out of the kid's mouth. I guarantee his first sentence will be, "Give me a fucking bottle of formula."

Duh!

Breastfeeding Equals Bad Behaviour

I'm not going to breastfeed my baby because breastfeeding causes brattiness. If I wanted my baby to be a juvenile delinquent I'd just give him a packet of Pal Mal and a switchblade.

There's even a study to back this up. Give your kid a boob, and they turn into little monsters. Give a kid a bottle, and he learns to be a farmer!

Breastfeeding in Public is Disgusting!

I don't know why these broads have to whip out their saggy hooters and feed their brats in public? Even a cat (and I know this because my cat recently had kittens) will go off somewhere private to nurse her kittens. Mine prefers the front hall closet. The least these women could do is find a bathroom stall, or a coat-check room.

I don't enjoy watching my cat nurse her kittens, and hell-everyone adores kittens, so why the hell would I want to watch some woman who hasn't run a comb through her hair since the day she gave birth, pull her obese gland out of a stained shirt and feed he baby? Babies are waaaay less cute than kittens, and I don't even want to see that.

Breastfeeding is gross, even when it is a cat.